Stop Comparing

I came across another bad habit of mine. A bad habit of mine is comparing myself to others. I compare my personality to others and compare my life to theirs.

I hate it when I do that from time to time. This thought occurs when there’s a large group of people around me and they are talking with one another while I’m off to myself. I start observing them and start thinking about society’s view of happiness and acceptance.

From this observation, I see that my view of happiness and acceptance is not the same as society’s. Then I start to wonder who’s right. Me or society?

What I think of myself should be the only thing that matters. But I realize that I have a long way to go when it comes to not caring of how I look to others.

When someone looks at me, it looks like I’m unbothered. But internally, I’m not. I still have work to do on myself.

I want to be so unfazed by others to the point where millions of people can be talking to one another and I will see them and not compare myself to them.

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Why do I feel uncomfortable when I’m ostracized?

At this point in my life, I should have already been accustomed to being alone. But during an event when it was obvious that I was being ostracized, you would think that it was my first time being by myself. Why is that?

That’s what I thought to myself when I went back to my dorm: Why was I in need of someone’s approval?

Some of us seek acceptance in others, but it is very dangerous if you do so. It is dangerous because they can take advantage of you and treat you in a way you don’t want to be treated.

These are all my thoughts. I am just speaking from experience. Every time I am seeking acceptance from others I am always left disappointed. Then I place blame on them when I am the one to blame for even giving them the power to choose if I’m approved by their acceptance of me.

I’m glad that incident happened because it showed me that I have a long way to go when it comes to self-love. Even though I came a long way, there’s always room for improvement.