Loving myself is a lifelong journey

This post has to be one of the most hardest topics to write about—myself. Loving myself can be a challenge as well. I want to write about this because I want to commend myself on the internal conflicts that I overcame. During these past four years, I realize that I like to be alone, be apart of deep conversations, writing, and reading.

The difficult thing for me is to not care about what other people think of me. I think once I get over that hurdle in my life, I will be unstoppable. There are times when I don’t, but there are times when I do.

I must learn that I can never please everyone. The only person I should please is myself.

Others still haven’t grasped the concept of my individuality. As a human being, I know that it is difficult to understand one. But I feel like I am greatly misunderstood by my peers. I am still categorize in this box. But I am more than what they can ever think of me as.

I don’t care what anyone says. The most challenging thing to do is to be yourself. When there is no one like you to follow in the footsteps of, you have to create your own path.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde

I am still working on the romance part as I say this mantra everyday, “I am enough. I am good enough. I am worthy.” 

I love who I am and I won’t change it for the world.


Conflicting Thoughts

Is it mandatory to go to college nowadays? It sometimes looks like it is. I caught myself thinking what my life would have been like if I chose not to attend college. When I began thinking, I didn’t know where to start. Is the matrix/system that strong enough to force you to do something it wants you to do?

Force is probably a strong word, but then again it isn’t. When I say ‘force’ in regards to the system, my meaning of force is how societal pressures implicitly push us to do what they want us to do. “They” can be anyone who imposes their conflicting ideas on you.

I was thinking like this today because I was dreading the thought of going to class. I don’t know if the feeling came to me naturally because I was annoyed or is it the fact that deep down inside – I don’t want to be here?

Then the question came to me, “If I don’t want to be here, then what should I do?” It seems like society created a college-or-die atmosphere.