Why do I feel uncomfortable when I’m ostracized?

At this point in my life, I should have already been accustomed to being alone. But during an event when it was obvious that I was being ostracized, you would think that it was my first time being by myself. Why is that?

That’s what I thought to myself when I went back to my dorm: Why was I in need of someone’s approval?

Some of us seek acceptance in others, but it is very dangerous if you do so. It is dangerous because they can take advantage of you and treat you in a way you don’t want to be treated.

These are all my thoughts. I am just speaking from experience. Every time I am seeking acceptance from others I am always left disappointed. Then I place blame on them when I am the one to blame for even giving them the power to choose if I’m approved by their acceptance of me.

I’m glad that incident happened because it showed me that I have a long way to go when it comes to self-love. Even though I came a long way, there’s always room for improvement.

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Keep Your Social Life. I Don’t Want It.

I don’t like how colleges place the social life on a pedestal. If you keep to yourself, you’re weird or odd. You know what’s weird? Talking to random people and having meaningless conversations with them. How do y’all do it? Don’t you feel tired giving yourself to other people like that? How can you share an interaction with someone without giving them the time to know your flaws, what makes you happy, and what leaves you disappointed?

When I talk to someone, I don’t want to be used as a pawn for shallow conversation to make the time go by. That’s plain rude. Just talking to someone because you’re “bored” is an awful way to engage in communication. And I feel that I’ve been a victim of someone talking to me because they were bored.