Talking about religion & spirituality

Today has been very busy and quite exhausting as well. I have projects to complete, I am a secretary for an organization, I have online homework that is due in less than 24 hours, and I found out that I received an’F’ on my first exam for the semester. Even though there’s a lot going on, I know I’ll get through it.

I was in an area where I was completing my work for the day and for the days ahead. The place was going to close in ten minutes. So I decided to use the place closing as a gateway to take a break and relax outside.

I ordered a sub and made my way outside. I was anticipating spending time alone that didn’t involve work. I sat down, inhaled deeply, then exhaled. I took a bite out of my sub and stared off into nature.

As I was enjoying my solitude, I heard a voice saying, “Hello, may we pray for you today?” It was a female student who asked me the question. She was walking with another student who was a guy.

As soon as I heard the question, the elation I once had when I was enjoying my alone time quickly vanished. I said, “I don’t know.” She continued asking me the question. Then she asked me what year I was and what major I was in.

She hesitantly began, but confidently ended the prayer. Then the guy asked, “Sorry we didn’t ask what you believed in. What religion are you a part of?”

I said, “None.” He immediately asked if I believed in God. I told him our perspectives of what God is, is different. They kept describing God as a “He” and I described God as an energy and how I am that energy. We talked for at least 20 minutes about our different “beliefs.”

I am not into religion. I don’t look outside of myself for healing. I look within. I know there is a Source that created all there is. But that shouldn’t diminish the power you have as a human being.

After the conversation, we bid farewell. As they left, I was hoping to never cross paths with them as I’m walking around campus.

Why do followers of the Christian faith on campus are the ones disturbing other’s solitude? Can I relax without being questioned on who or what I believe in?

Instead of bottling up what occurred, I decided to write about it. As if I have a choice. Whenever something is on my mind, it becomes a neccessity to write it out. If I don’t, I will go crazy.

Probably that’s one of the reasons why I was so calm when we were talking about a heated topic like religion. I was thinking to myself, This encounter will be good for my blog. Another reason I was calm during the conversation was the fact that I was a firm believer in my truth. Not any religion’s truth nor anyone else’s truth.

I speak and live my truth. I am not here to convert anyone to think like me. I just want people to have the courage and the strength to think for themselves—without any societal influence.

I made sure to emphasize that point to them, but they kept talking about their Christian faith and why they believe it. They meant well, but not in the context for my sanity.

The only time I felt sane today was when I was writing this blog post. I always feel sane when I’m writing.

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Would I Be Wasting My 20s?

Ever since I turned twenty, I began to feel the aging process. I finally realized that my time on Earth is limited. It’s kind of like a mid-life crisis, but in your twenties. I can’t help but think how quickly twenty years flew by, and in no time I’ll be forty. I even thought about having 4 sets of twenty years to live! I know that sounds crazy, but it was on my mind a few times.

Sometimes I think if I’m living my life like how a 20 year-old should live it. Then I catch myself and say, “You’re really going to take advice from society?” I like being by myself more than I like being around other people. I keep hearing that your 20s is the time to experience, explore, and make mistakes. What if I just want to listen to music, read books, and write? Am I doing the right thing? Should I do the things majority of the world is telling me to do or should I do what I feel comfortable with?

I hate how society doesn’t allow me to be who I am. Every time I do something, I have this “society subconscious” telling me what I’m doing is not the norm. It’s like an internal conflict. Then I tried to go with the norm and I didn’t like it – no matter how normal it is.

Should I be socializing? Should I get out my room? Would I be wasting my 20s? Am I wasting my 20s if I spend them watching movies and reading books? These questions have been circulating through my mind ever since I turned 20. They say don’t do something you would regret. But what if the same thing you love doing is the same thing that will make you regret in the future. Is my love for reading and being alone going to be detrimental for me in the future?

I’m tired of having these judgments in my head. Is there a right or a wrong way to live life?

I hate when I start thinking like this, but it happens. I don’t know what my 20s has in store for me. I know I have the power to make it the best or the worst. I just hope I can get through it.