When Frustration Sets In

I’m in the homestretch of receiving my Bachelor’s degree and finally graduating after 4 life-changing years.

Now frustration is setting in because expectations of what I have for myself and expectations of what others have for me is surfacing.

I currently don’t have a job and someone asked if I did because I’m always fundraising to go to conferences and conventions. I replied that I didn’t and that I’m searching for one.

Just because I don’t have a 9 to 5 doesn’t mean I shouldn’t enjoy events that are happening around me. Right now, fundraising to go to these events is what’s best.

I’m also frustrated because I hate seeing acquaintances getting along with each other more than they do with me. It sometimes makes me feel that something is wrong with me when there isn’t.

I also have many blogs that I’m moderating and I want them all to be successful. I’m currently writing as much as I can to make sure the blogs gain many views. Even though I enjoy writing, it’s frustrating not having as many views as I expected.

Getting a steady income is my main priority right now & everything else will fall into place. The “everything else” is a car and an apartment or condominium.

Even though expectations lead to disappointments, it also sparks frustration.

I’ll just continue fighting the frustration by having perseverance.

My Reality of Being An Entrepreneur

In today’s blogpost, I will be talking about life as an entrepreneur in the making.

I decided to show you all what I wrote in regards to this topic.

Below, I placed excerpts from my personal journal that I wanted to share with you all.

 

January 6, 2017 // 2:42 PM

Since noon I’ve been publishing and promoting my blogs. Boy! Talk about putting in work! I feel exhausted. But I rather feel tired working for myself than feel tired working for someone else that’s for damn sure. Life as an entrepreneur.

I’m in the beginning stages. I believe once I can live off the income from my services alone, then I will consider myself a full-blown entrepreneur. At least I’m trying. And I will not give up.

The thought of working for someone drives me insane. Working for myself becomes my obsession every time that thought occurs. Tired, but inspired.

 

January 7, 2017 // 5:26 PM

Today I scheduled in my planner that I would be completing assignments. Did I do them? Some. But I felt so tired doing them though. I don’t know what got over me. I just felt extremely tired today. I’m thinking of just using my “tiredness” to write some blogposts.

I always have the energy to work on myself. But when it comes to completing schoolwork, I feel even more drained.

 

There you have it, folks. This is how I’m feeling right now. I can never be tired when it comes to working on myself. Working for others or working on schoolwork is where the tired feeling kicks in.

Another difficult thing about being an entrepreneur is that there will be days where NO ONE contacts you for your services. I wish I had a client every day.

I promote my services every day. Yes, it can be tiring promoting yourself. What’s even more tiring is questioning your self-worth every day because no one has contacted you for your services yet.

Even your own “friends” or people you consider as your friends won’t even help you out.

As I said in my previous journal entry, ‘tired, but inspired.’

I will let my obsession to not work for someone else be my drive to be autonomous.

Everything Is Temporary

Why do I hate having roommates? Well for one, they won’t stop talking. Since it’s the 4th of July, most of them brought their “friends,” and I have never been so annoyed in my life. They were supposed to leave but the rain is making them stay longer in the dorm. I just want them to leave.

This was supposed to be a relaxing weekend for me. Instead, it’s been filled with random faces and meaningless chatter that consisted of a thousand eye-rolls by yours truly.

When I was going to take a shower today, one of my roommate’s friends walked in on me. I had my towel on, but still – what was she doing here? I was shocked. I know she heard me in the bathroom, why did she continue to come in? She told me “Happy 4th of July” and proceeded to use the toilet.

Whenever I feel stressed or depressed, I just tell myself “Everything is temporary.” I won’t be in college forever. I won’t have these roommates forever. Everything will come in due time. When my college days are over, I won’t necessarily feel free because I will still be obligated to pay back my student loans, but I won’t have to LIVE with people who exhaust me.

I hope my roommates’ bringing random people in the dorm isn’t an everyday thing.

*Closes eyes, Inhale & Exhale* Everything is temporary.

College

If I have to miss one thing about college—ONE thing, it would have to be the large amount of time I spend by myself. I will miss being alone in my dorm, spending the whole day in libraries, and listening to music while I walk around campus. Those are the ONLY things I will miss about college – nothing else. I realize that sooner or later I’m going to have to interact with people more than I have to now. So every time I’m alone, I will cherish every second of it.

I don’t understand how people can bring their acquaintances, “friends,” or people they JUST met to their dorms. They spent the WHOLE day around other people, and they have the audacity to bring their new “friends” back to their dorms. Why don’t they want to spend a few hours with themselves? You have been around people the ENTIRE day! Relax!

I know. It is their life. But it is my opinion.

I just wanted to get that off my chest.

Anyway, being alone is the only thing I will miss about college. A part of me wonders what my college experience would have been like if I befriended a few people, but when I eavesdropped on conversations around me, I’m glad I chose to be alone.

I wish there were people like me in college. To my surprise, there’s no one. I’m not saying EXACTLY like me, but have similar tastes when it comes to beliefs and politics. I guess everyone in college just wants to have fun. No one wants to have meaningful relationships anymore.

I’m being bias (of course) because I haven’t gone out yet. Subconsciously, I enjoy my freedom too much to meet someone that I will have to talk to on a day-to-day basis. It will be nice to meet someone who is not attached to the friendship label. Someone who can keep their distance and care about me without smothering me. Oh well.

My college days are coming to an end. Even though I have two years left, I can feel this chapter closing.