Why do I feel uncomfortable when I’m ostracized?

At this point in my life, I should have already been accustomed to being alone. But during an event when it was obvious that I was being ostracized, you would think that it was my first time being by myself. Why is that?

That’s what I thought to myself when I went back to my dorm: Why was I in need of someone’s approval?

Some of us seek acceptance in others, but it is very dangerous if you do so. It is dangerous because they can take advantage of you and treat you in a way you don’t want to be treated.

These are all my thoughts. I am just speaking from experience. Every time I am seeking acceptance from others I am always left disappointed. Then I place blame on them when I am the one to blame for even giving them the power to choose if I’m approved by their acceptance of me.

I’m glad that incident happened because it showed me that I have a long way to go when it comes to self-love. Even though I came a long way, there’s always room for improvement.

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Loving myself is a lifelong journey

This post has to be one of the most hardest topics to write about—myself. Loving myself can be a challenge as well. I want to write about this because I want to commend myself on the internal conflicts that I overcame. During these past four years, I realize that I like to be alone, be apart of deep conversations, writing, and reading.

The difficult thing for me is to not care about what other people think of me. I think once I get over that hurdle in my life, I will be unstoppable. There are times when I don’t, but there are times when I do.

I must learn that I can never please everyone. The only person I should please is myself.

Others still haven’t grasped the concept of my individuality. As a human being, I know that it is difficult to understand one. But I feel like I am greatly misunderstood by my peers. I am still categorize in this box. But I am more than what they can ever think of me as.

I don’t care what anyone says. The most challenging thing to do is to be yourself. When there is no one like you to follow in the footsteps of, you have to create your own path.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde

I am still working on the romance part as I say this mantra everyday, “I am enough. I am good enough. I am worthy.” 

I love who I am and I won’t change it for the world.