Why do I feel uncomfortable when I’m ostracized?

At this point in my life, I should have already been accustomed to being alone. But during an event when it was obvious that I was being ostracized, you would think that it was my first time being by myself. Why is that?

That’s what I thought to myself when I went back to my dorm: Why was I in need of someone’s approval?

Some of us seek acceptance in others, but it is very dangerous if you do so. It is dangerous because they can take advantage of you and treat you in a way you don’t want to be treated.

These are all my thoughts. I am just speaking from experience. Every time I am seeking acceptance from others I am always left disappointed. Then I place blame on them when I am the one to blame for even giving them the power to choose if I’m approved by their acceptance of me.

I’m glad that incident happened because it showed me that I have a long way to go when it comes to self-love. Even though I came a long way, there’s always room for improvement.

I’m Enough. I’m Good Enough. I’m Worthy.

My sister and I were talking about the insecurities we have. In the beginning, my response was shallow. But when I dug further into my response, I realize that my insecurity is not being good enough for other people. Once I let this insecurity of mine go, I will TRULY be free. That’s been my insecurity ever since I was a little girl, and I still have it till this day.

Whenever I encounter other people, I always try to make a good impression on them. After our conversation, I would wonder if I rubbed the person the wrong way. If I haven’t heard from the person in a while, the feeling of inadequacy starts to kick in.

My mind starts thinking, “What did I do wrong?” “Was it my breath?” “What did I say?” “Did I offend them?” Then the hole I was already in gets deeper, and I become more insecure – am I good enough for other people?

Every day I say a mantra. The mantra is ‘I’m enough. I’m good enough. I’m worthy.’ I say it every night. One day I’ll believe it. It just takes time.

This Is Only the Beginning

I’m so excited to start this blog! I created it because I felt compelled to release my thoughts and share my experiences to anyone who is willing to read them. I wanted to analyze my feelings on this platform. I go through many ups and downs mentally. It would be insane to hold all my energy without freeing it. So I told myself, ‘Why not create a blog to express my thoughts?’ The inspiration came through my sister as she was creating her own art blog. And here I am 🙂

My plan for this blog is to inspire readers to express themselves and live their lives unapologetically. It’s a daily struggle conquering my own thoughts and insecurities. But through this blog, I will highlight the meaning of the quote, “The pen is mightier than the sword.” I will grow into the person I was destined to be.  I love to write and I hope you love my words as much as I do.

-Stay True ❤