Fighting for Happiness

I’ve been feeling down lately.  I know it’s temporary because that’s life. You go through ups and downs. But this emotion I’m feeling is hard to describe this time around.

It feels like I’ve been fighting for happiness lately. This Instagram account inspired me to write this post because what she shared perfectly described what I felt when I saw it on my Instagram feed this morning. The caption of the picture read: “I have to protect myself from the bad thoughts and fight for happiness.”

When I read it, I was in shock because someone described what I was feeling.

I feel like I am fighting for my happiness. Then the question came to me: “Why am I fighting for my happiness?”

Another question came to me as well: “Should I be fighting for my happiness?” I should if I want to keep sane, right? But should we really be fighting for it? Why can’t happiness be easily attainable?

As you can see, so many questions ran through my mind. And I’m still searching for the answers to them.

I commend myself for being so reflective. The more I ask myself these questions, the closer I can achieve inner peace.

At this point in time, I will fight for happiness. It’s the only option to do so. I came here for a reason and to not fight when things get rough is doing a disservice to the Source that created me and it will be a disservice to myself as well.

I would like to see what’s in store for me in the future. I would like to witness my growth.

So I will fight for my happiness.

My Non-Existent Dating Life

I am swallowing my pride to write this post. I keep having reoccurring thoughts.

The thoughts I’m having stems from the fact that I’m not dating anyone.

I’m not looking for a long-term relationship as of yet. But if I meet someone and it leads to that, then I’m fine with that. The problem I’m having is that I don’t even have anyone to even date or talk to. Is that even a problem?

How much of my time is too much of my time? I spend a lot of time alone on a daily basis. I do enjoy my alone time. But life is all about balance. When I’m done recharging my energy in my alone time, whom can I exert that energy onto?

Is being too selective with my energy getting the best of me?  These are the reoccurring thoughts I’ve been having lately. I don’t want to think about them. But here they are creeping back to me every chance they get.

I’m internally debating whether it’s a personal issue or a societal issue. Am I not with anyone because I am too different or do I have issues in the past and/or in my childhood that I need to resolve?

I don’t know, but I always reflect on myself to see what I can find. Since I’m usually alone, I always have the time to be introspective.