My Personal Space

As a very busy individual, I cherish the moment I find to myself. Whatever I do in that moment I make sure I enjoy it as much as possible because I don’t know when will be the next time I will have this again in the near future.

I was sitting on a bench and a woman came and sat right next to me on the bench. Immediately irritated, I looked up to see if there were other benches available in the area. There were three benches available.

I exhaled deeply and pretended to not be annoyed. But my plan didn’t work.

I sat there for about five more minutes, gathered my belongings, and left the bench I was relaxing on.

I felt compelled to write about this situation because I take personal space very seriously. If there are other benches or seats available, please choose one of them. Don’t choose one next to me.

I always select a seat that is available without the threat of invading someone else’s personal space.

When I am having “me” time, I don’t want it to become “a stranger sitting next to me” time.

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Talking about religion & spirituality

Today has been very busy and quite exhausting as well. I have projects to complete, I am a secretary for an organization, I have online homework that is due in less than 24 hours, and I found out that I received an’F’ on my first exam for the semester. Even though there’s a lot going on, I know I’ll get through it.

I was in an area where I was completing my work for the day and for the days ahead. The place was going to close in ten minutes. So I decided to use the place closing as a gateway to take a break and relax outside.

I ordered a sub and made my way outside. I was anticipating spending time alone that didn’t involve work. I sat down, inhaled deeply, then exhaled. I took a bite out of my sub and stared off into nature.

As I was enjoying my solitude, I heard a voice saying, “Hello, may we pray for you today?” It was a female student who asked me the question. She was walking with another student who was a guy.

As soon as I heard the question, the elation I once had when I was enjoying my alone time quickly vanished. I said, “I don’t know.” She continued asking me the question. Then she asked me what year I was and what major I was in.

She hesitantly began, but confidently ended the prayer. Then the guy asked, “Sorry we didn’t ask what you believed in. What religion are you a part of?”

I said, “None.” He immediately asked if I believed in God. I told him our perspectives of what God is, is different. They kept describing God as a “He” and I described God as an energy and how I am that energy. We talked for at least 20 minutes about our different “beliefs.”

I am not into religion. I don’t look outside of myself for healing. I look within. I know there is a Source that created all there is. But that shouldn’t diminish the power you have as a human being.

After the conversation, we bid farewell. As they left, I was hoping to never cross paths with them as I’m walking around campus.

Why do followers of the Christian faith on campus are the ones disturbing other’s solitude? Can I relax without being questioned on who or what I believe in?

Instead of bottling up what occurred, I decided to write about it. As if I have a choice. Whenever something is on my mind, it becomes a neccessity to write it out. If I don’t, I will go crazy.

Probably that’s one of the reasons why I was so calm when we were talking about a heated topic like religion. I was thinking to myself, This encounter will be good for my blog. Another reason I was calm during the conversation was the fact that I was a firm believer in my truth. Not any religion’s truth nor anyone else’s truth.

I speak and live my truth. I am not here to convert anyone to think like me. I just want people to have the courage and the strength to think for themselves—without any societal influence.

I made sure to emphasize that point to them, but they kept talking about their Christian faith and why they believe it. They meant well, but not in the context for my sanity.

The only time I felt sane today was when I was writing this blog post. I always feel sane when I’m writing.

I love rainy days

I love rainy days because it forces me to reflect on my life. In my solitude, I can finally read that book I wanted to read. I can write what I wanted to write when I was busy. I can meditate more. I can relax more.

The rain brings a soothing feel to me. I start to feel calm whenever I hear the rain pouring. I love that feeling.

Some people get angry when it starts to rain, maybe because their plans are ruined. But when it rains, my plans have just begun.

Everything I wanted to do but couldn’t because of the tasks of what needed to be done in the external world can finally be done because of the rain.

When it rains, some plans may get canceled. But the tasks that need be done in my internal world finally gets completed.

The flowers bloom after it rains, and so do I.

Thank you rain.

College

If I have to miss one thing about college—ONE thing, it would have to be the large amount of time I spend by myself. I will miss being alone in my dorm, spending the whole day in libraries, and listening to music while I walk around campus. Those are the ONLY things I will miss about college – nothing else. I realize that sooner or later I’m going to have to interact with people more than I have to now. So every time I’m alone, I will cherish every second of it.

I don’t understand how people can bring their acquaintances, “friends,” or people they JUST met to their dorms. They spent the WHOLE day around other people, and they have the audacity to bring their new “friends” back to their dorms. Why don’t they want to spend a few hours with themselves? You have been around people the ENTIRE day! Relax!

I know. It is their life. But it is my opinion.

I just wanted to get that off my chest.

Anyway, being alone is the only thing I will miss about college. A part of me wonders what my college experience would have been like if I befriended a few people, but when I eavesdropped on conversations around me, I’m glad I chose to be alone.

I wish there were people like me in college. To my surprise, there’s no one. I’m not saying EXACTLY like me, but have similar tastes when it comes to beliefs and politics. I guess everyone in college just wants to have fun. No one wants to have meaningful relationships anymore.

I’m being bias (of course) because I haven’t gone out yet. Subconsciously, I enjoy my freedom too much to meet someone that I will have to talk to on a day-to-day basis. It will be nice to meet someone who is not attached to the friendship label. Someone who can keep their distance and care about me without smothering me. Oh well.

My college days are coming to an end. Even though I have two years left, I can feel this chapter closing.