Reflections on my summer and what to expect for the future

As I continue writing on this blog more often, I couldn’t help but glance at the other blog posts I published. I came a long way, but there is always room for improvement.

The one blog post that I wanted to do a sequel on is ‘Summertime is Manifesting Time.’ I realized that I didn’t write anything over the summer.

This summer has been productive and stressful. The stress stemmed from two things: finding an internship and what I’ll be doing as a career after I graduate from college. This summer was my last summer as an undergraduate.

I’m excited, but at the same time nervous. Nervous in the sense that I don’t know what will happen. It’s the uncertainty that has me nervous. I am also eager to see what I can do.

The one thing I didn’t like about college is the false hope that a job is guaranteed. It’s like I’m on this insane merry-go-round. “Get good grades to go to college.” “Go to college to get a job.” “Get a job to get money.” The one thing that is not told to college graduates is that a job in the field they desire is not guaranteed. The job you want will not be given to you; you must WORK for it.

When I say work, I mean give it everything you got. A degree won’t cut it. The qualities that will reward you the job you desire is effort and hard work—not the degree alone. I found that out at the end of my junior year and the beginning of my senior year.

I felt angry and depressed because I believed that a degree alone will land me the job that I desire in my field. Some college graduates don’t even work at the job they wanted to work at. And that to me is a nightmare. I want to do what I love. I don’t want to compromise my talents just because I have to get a “job.”

I want my “job” to be something I love doing. I love to read, write and report. I don’t want to do anything else unless it’s one of the verbs I listed prior to this sentence. I mean it.

My mother was telling me how a student from another university is working at a job she didn’t study for in college. Hearing her say that broke my heart. But it ignited the fire in me to avoid that situation. My will to avoid that scenario grew stronger and stronger each day after my mother told me the story.

At least I know now, right? Better late than never I guess. But I wish I knew sooner. I wish I knew even before I sent my college applications.

I can’t worry about the past, but I do want to address what I had in mind and that everything is not what it seems to be.

I received my first internship this summer. I was so fortunate that a women I knew since my sophomore year in high school still worked there. She fought hard for me to have an internship there. The people there shared their wisdom with me and told me that I have to work harder at my craft. They too shared stories on how college graduates didn’t get the jobs they desired while they were in college and ended up working at a job they never thought of doing. They believe in me, but only I can avoid that situation  from happening.

Networking and making connections is key. But I don’t like networking even though I know the importance of it to go far in my field. I want to go far in my field without networking too much. I just want to get the right and important connections, then have those connections be the solid connections in my network.

I’m still looking for another internship to build other relationships.

I never know what will exactly happen in the future, but I do know that the future can be changed right now—in the present.

So I’ll just focus on the now and the effort I put in for the present moment would alter my future to allow me to be where I need to be.

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How I Feel About College Tour Guides

I decided to take some time out of my day to share my thoughts on what I feel about college tour guides. Since I’m taking classes over the summer, I’ve seen many incoming college freshman taking tours around campus. They are getting themselves acquainted with the college campus they will be walking on for the next four years of their lives.

College can be a great experience for some. For others, it can feel like hell. Well for me, I have to say I agree with the latter. I never really got the hang of college – socially. And I feel like college is all about being social and I’m the exact opposite. I’m in my third year, and I still don’t like college.

When I see tour guides leading and talking to the incoming freshmen, I feel like they are being liars. I know what you’re saying, “Why do you care?” I’m writing about this because I need to get it out of my system. I’ve been seeing too many faces of incoming college freshmen thinking their college experience will be the greatest experience of their lives. I’m here to write out on how they are truly mistaken. I’m writing this as a warning for any incoming college freshman. I’m doing what I wish someone would have done for me when I was on my way to college.

Reflecting on how I was when I made my decision to come to college, I felt tricked and unaware about the mental toll and the anxiety college would have on me. And right now, I feel like I’m carrying a burden of the ignorance I had for college and “the great college experience.”

Okay, so here we go. College tour guides are liars. They are putting up a front to the incoming college freshmen. Telling them how great college is and how happy they will be here. Straight. Bull.Shit. These incoming college freshmen on the tours are taking the bait, and I want to tell them what the bait REALLY IS!

How can the tour guides walk around campus convincing people how great college is? I can’t do that. My experience has been the worst experience I can ever go through or think of. Even with my crazy imagination, I could never create a story that will be similar to what I went through in college.

Based on my experience with college tour guides, I realized they were NOT being honest with me. I realized that now, since I knew what I got myself into. Why weren’t they real with me? Why did they plaster fake smiles across their faces? They should have just been honest with me. Just say, “Hey look, college is hard. Just make sure what you’re signing up for, okay?” Not one of those “amazing” college tour guides told me that – not one. And that’s why I don’t like them. If they weren’t truthful to me, what makes the incoming college freshmen think that they are being truthful to them?

“But you’re in college.” I know I’m in college. But if I knew what I know now, I would have made a better and wiser decision. But I didn’t. I just jumped straight into the hole without thinking of the consequences and without knowing the TRUTH about why college is REALLY here in our society.

I don’t like liars. Start telling the truth to incoming college freshman. Stop with the fake smiles. Stop filling their heads with high hopes and expectations. Just. Stop. It.